Let me paint a picture for you. It’s a cold night. Very cold. Your friends just finished a half-hearted debate about whether it’s “coop” or “co-op,” realizing that it was executing very freshman energy. It’s a Wednesday so naturally the dry chicken tenders are out of stock, but you sigh in relief at the length of the line: more time for decision making. Are you in a mozzarella sticks mood, or more of a burger? You contemplate, but your time shortens with every possibility you ponder. Someone whispers behind you, “Get the breakfast burrito.” You look back, but there’s only a Delta who looks annoyed at you for staring. You turn back and it’s your turn up at the register with Taylor.

 “One breakfast burrito with sausage.” 

The breakfast burrito is unarguably the best food on the coop menu – nay – offered at Washington and Lee University. There’s no doubt about it. The scrambled eggs, red peppers, onions and cheddar cheese congregate to create a magnum opus of whoever conjured up the menu. Every time, the ratio is perfect: the cheese melt stringy, the drop zone minimal. It’s a meal that can be enjoyed by everyone. There’s no F.O.M.O. eating the wrap meatless, but it is recommended to compensate with a good soda so that it can be digested easily. For the vegans out there (P.S.: respect to you for somehow navigating these semesters at D-Hall), you too can take out the cheese melt and the eggs. But make sure to ask for hummus as a substitute. 

Meat is not optional, and by meat, I mean sausage. There can be debates about which meat is the best meat all day long, but there’s only enough space for sausage. “I hate bacon,” Chaeyon Jang, ’25, argues. However, disliking a food simply for its taste is  chickening out. To hate a particular ingrediant is to cut yourself short from the array of possible cuisines that the world has to offer; life is too short to live unindulgingly. 

But this only covers step one of respectfully ingesting as the breakfast burrito deserves. The next part is one that requires the most practice: the salsa dip. One could simply ask for another salsa dip, but in the trenches of party hour, it becomes near impossible to get either the workers’ attention or a sauce tin itself. Making due with just one is painfully difficult without following the one cardinal rule: rationing. You might opt to conserve in the beginning, but then there ends up a salsa surplus at the end. On the other hand, you might opt to conserve at the end so that your meal has a good start. However, that leaves you with a dry tortilla at the end. This is  why there is a secret strategy to lengthen the longevity of the salsa. First, you must acquire a spoon. With said spoon, you then evenly coat a layer of salsa on the top of the tortilla, continuing from then with every bite. 

Try it for yourself – you won’t be sorry.