Chunks of red sauce smeared over the table as if it were finger paint, full slices of pizza left on the ground, broken crayons scattered across the table, shattered plates and colorful concoctions in water cups are all things I am very familiar with as a server.
“Remember to say please and thank you,” is a sentence I frequently heard growing up, and I assumed others did as well. Anytime I would get dropped off for a playdate or sleepover, my parents would remind me of this. At home, I am a waitress at the local pizzeria, and I’ve learned that this sentence is one not many children are familiar with.
Instead of “thank you,” parents say, “Don’t worry about cleaning that up. That is what she’s here for.” Instead of “please,” customers demand and say, “I want.” And an infinite number of unreciprocated “have a nice day(s)” are the new phrases and scenarios I have become accustomed to instead.
When I was much younger, my parents would take my older brother and me out to eat frequently. I would spill a drink across the table every time we went out, but my family would make sure we cleaned up the mess and didn’t leave it for anybody else to deal with. My parents always joked, “It’s not a dinner unless Celeste spills her drink.” But they made sure to teach me to clean up after myself. Children are bound to make mistakes, but the manners and social skills they are taught help them rebound successfully.
Manners are not a social skill that children will naturally grow into. They have to be taught. The process of teaching children manners should take place both in school and at home. According to a 2007 Vanderbilt study, “10 basic social skills, such as taking turns, listening, and simply being nice, are just as important to children’s academic success as the subjects they study.” These researchers have proof to show that learning manners at a young age results in successful students with better abilities to interact with others.
Today, everyone is constantly stressed about the numerous concerns of their lives, which has played a part in the diminishing of manners throughout the years. If teachers are overworked and stressed, they don’t have the ability to teach children these social skills. If parents are too overwhelmed with work, then they don’t have time to teach their children manners either.
Young children are the future of society, and it is in our best interest to properly equip them with social skills to interact and respect one another in order to maintain peace and support the success of each individual. If everyone is too stressed to teach the fundamentals of manners and respect, what will society turn into? Perhaps only time can tell.
