A few months ago, I read an article in an online magazine called Gen-Zine, whose audience and contributors are people born between the years 1995 and 2012, known as Generation Z. The article, titled “Gen-Z’s Age of Yearning,” discussed an increasing feeling among the younger generation: loneliness. It specifically referenced a three-year social gap left behind by the COVID-19 pandemic, which is still affecting young people today.
While this article wasn’t the first piece of media I’ve encountered about the ephemeral loneliness plaguing our generation, it was the first to put into words a concern that’s been arising in my mind as I’ve researched the impact of technology for my other Ring-tum Phi articles. To quote the author, Isabella Carmago, “It seems like we lost touch to whatever force builds [connection] within ourselves, and from that vacuum comes our yearning.”
According to Merriam-Webster, yearning is the act of longing or wanting something, especially something we aren’t quite sure how to attain. For Gen Z, it seems there is a collective yearning for connection — a driving desire that underlies our use of technology. Previously, young people who wanted to build community had no choice but to leave their beds and face whatever social anxiety they had. That’s not the case anymore.
Modern personal technology offers an easy out for those nervous about socializing, and many in our generation are taking it.
A post on X that went viral earlier this year commented on our generation’s stagnant social development, saying, “zoomers aren’t drinking, zoomers aren’t dancing, they aren’t even having sex. worst of all, they aren’t reading either, in fact, it’s entirely unclear *what* they do with the same 24 hours their ancestors had to deal with every day.”
While Washington and Lee students may be a student body that defies this observation, the same cannot be said for others in our generation. A 2021 report from multiple New York universities found a 20% decrease in young adult men having sex at least once in their lives, a significant drop from the previous decade, where 38% of unpartnered young men reported having casual sex.
As uncomfortable as it is to discuss, sexual activity is an important cultural metric when measuring an age group’s social adjustment. When you also consider our generation’s lower rates of drinking, dating and working part-time jobs, it paints a grim picture of slower development that not many are ready to face.
It should be noted that I don’t think it’s fair to fault young people entirely for their change in social habits. It is much cheaper to watch YouTube videos in your room than it is to take someone out on a date. Moreover, job opportunities aren’t as easy to come by, especially for college students.
A changing society that makes being young a boundary to experiencing life fully, combined with the alluring nature of using technology to subsidize socializing, has created a situation where young people are stuck in a digital sedation.
So, what do we do with all this information? Are our less fortunate peers destined to be sexless, friendless zombies for the rest of their lives? The answer is no, obviously, but it will take some personal action for that to be the case.
If you want to make friends, you risk embarrassing yourself in the process. That’s a risk you’ll have to take. Luckily for me, I don’t think there is much in terms of further embarrassment I can go through. But for everyone else, I encourage you to approach socializing with the idea that every stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet.
Importantly, by no means am I a guru when it comes to making friends, but I do have personal experience with feeling profoundly lonely. It’s something I’ve dealt with my entire life. I’m not ashamed to admit this, and I don’t think anyone should be. Most people yearn for social connection, but it’s not always easily attainable.
Still, in my own life experience, I’ve recently come to realize a difficult truth: being lonely is always a choice. It’s a choice where you either endure the pain of being alone or take the risk of inviting a new opportunity into your life.
Young adults must ask themselves: Will they take the blue pill and pick a path of self-inflicted loneliness, or will they take the red pill and confront loneliness head-on by making active decisions to cultivate human connection? The choice is yours.
